Disclaimer: This story is from last year but I had nowhere to post it back then.

So the other night I am at Downey’s and having one of the best nights there ever. There were three Conways, it wasn’t super crowded, and Tom was in a great mood; epic. Just as I was about to get my karaoke on and start my blackout tour I am approached by a rather attractive female. We drum up some casual conversation and it is clear from the jump that she wants to jump my bones. Being the gentleman that I am I offered to buy her a drink and was quite taken aback when she declined my offer. I hate small talk so I tell her to think of a song we can do on karaoke when she is ready.

Pat and I do our usual on the karaoke mic and when I head back to the bar she comes over again and tells me she decided on “Don’t Stop Believing.” I put the song in and we rock out, make out and I find out she is 22 and a nursing student. I look across the bar to see everyone staring at me because believe it or not I don’t pull many chicks. I think I probably had the biggest smile on my face for two reasons, one she was cute and two I thought I finally proved all those naysayers wrong who said I’d never pick up a girl at Downey’s. We exchanged numbers and she was going back to school up the mountains somewhere but would be back again to hang out with me of course.

Needless to say we texted most of the weekend and I guess maybe Sunday night I started to get some weird feelings about her. Like she mentioned how much homework she had, who has homework in college? She also talked about school as if she didn’t know what college was exactly like. Now I didn’t really remember exactly what she looked like and since she told me she played softball (and wasn’t a lesbian) I looked her college team up and found out she wasn’t on the website. Weird but maybe she was talking intramural sports. I still needed to see what she looked like so I did my best not to be creepy and asked for a photo. Now one of the pictures was of her at prom. What 22 year old sends a picture of them from Prom? But I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe it was a college formal or something. As this point my suspicion was very high that this girl was lying about her age and was definitely not in college.

Now I am not sure how many people out there are familiar with the TV Catfish on MTV but basically this guy tells this people that the person that have been dating EXCLUSIVELY online for the last so many years is lying. Honestly, with today’s technology and all the video chat services how the hell have you not had one, especially when you live in different states? But I digress. A friend of mine armed only with the girls name and hometown found her online and it was a clip from a high school newspaper about her playing softball (at least she wasn’t lying there). I prayed that the date on the newsletter would be from at least 4 years ago but no it was from the previous fall. Yup the girl was still in high school. Did I mention that my friend also found her facebook and her profile picture was her senior portrait? Yup I totally got catfished in person. I am not even sure if that is the right thing to call it but that’s what I am going with.

Anyway I confronted her about the lies and of course she denied and denied them and I told her I couldn’t speak to her anymore. Just like that my storybook romance with a girl I met at a bar was over. I guess all those naysayers were right.

UPDATE – I saw the girl again at Downey’s earlier this year. She didn’t approach me or anything and I didn’t talk to her but I couldn’t help but laugh when she walked up to the karaoke mic and sang “What’s my Age Again?” by Blink 182.