Author Archives: joeyd4563

Rambling

63

Nooch. 63 is my number. Today is June 3rd or 6/3 which kind of makes today my day. Usually I celebrate this day in some way shape of form but I am taking this day off. I guess I really shouldn’t though because technically it is the 10 year anniversary of today being my day. 63 is kind of a weird number to be my number and I wish there was a funnier story about how it came about but like most things in life it kind of took on a life of its own.

Remember back in the day when people hung out for hours on AOL or AIM? I was one of those kids. A friend of mine was also one of those kids and he would love to come over my house and sit on AOL for hours because he had dial up and I had maybe it was DSL at the time? IDK but this ginger would sit on my computer for hours and expect me to just sit there and watch him talk to people in these little stupid boxes. That shit wasn’t going to fly with me so I started messing with his messages. I would randomly hit the enter button and hit other buttons to make the messages not make sense. Well I was seated to his right most of these days and it just happened to turn out that the keys I would hit the most would be 6 and 3. Soon every message had 63 in it and because he knew he could not beat me, my friend joined in on the fun and everyone begun to question what 63 meant.

Now I am still not sure how this happened because we weren’t the most popular kids in high school but 63 spread throughout our class and soon everyone wanted to know what 63 was all about. Naturally we had no answer because as you just read above, the story is mostly stupid and happened by circumstance. Anyway our inability to answer the question only spread the mystery and enigma surrounding 63. Suddenly it seemed as 63 was everywhere and unavoidable; I was even on page 63 of the yearbook and to this day my crowning achievement in life was reaching 63,000 miles in a car on 63rd street.

My friends and I also said nooch pretty much every day and somehow 63 and nooch became linked and the rest as they say is history. Whenever someone sees 63 or looks at the calendar and notices that it is June 3rd, they think of me and inevitability say nooch. So today my friend 63 I salute you and even though it is probably a bad idea, I will raise 63 ounces of alcohol in your honor.

Standard
Rant

Catfished in Person?

Disclaimer: This story is from last year but I had nowhere to post it back then.

So the other night I am at Downey’s and having one of the best nights there ever. There were three Conways, it wasn’t super crowded, and Tom was in a great mood; epic. Just as I was about to get my karaoke on and start my blackout tour I am approached by a rather attractive female. We drum up some casual conversation and it is clear from the jump that she wants to jump my bones. Being the gentleman that I am I offered to buy her a drink and was quite taken aback when she declined my offer. I hate small talk so I tell her to think of a song we can do on karaoke when she is ready.

Pat and I do our usual on the karaoke mic and when I head back to the bar she comes over again and tells me she decided on “Don’t Stop Believing.” I put the song in and we rock out, make out and I find out she is 22 and a nursing student. I look across the bar to see everyone staring at me because believe it or not I don’t pull many chicks. I think I probably had the biggest smile on my face for two reasons, one she was cute and two I thought I finally proved all those naysayers wrong who said I’d never pick up a girl at Downey’s. We exchanged numbers and she was going back to school up the mountains somewhere but would be back again to hang out with me of course.

Needless to say we texted most of the weekend and I guess maybe Sunday night I started to get some weird feelings about her. Like she mentioned how much homework she had, who has homework in college? She also talked about school as if she didn’t know what college was exactly like. Now I didn’t really remember exactly what she looked like and since she told me she played softball (and wasn’t a lesbian) I looked her college team up and found out she wasn’t on the website. Weird but maybe she was talking intramural sports. I still needed to see what she looked like so I did my best not to be creepy and asked for a photo. Now one of the pictures was of her at prom. What 22 year old sends a picture of them from Prom? But I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe it was a college formal or something. As this point my suspicion was very high that this girl was lying about her age and was definitely not in college.

Now I am not sure how many people out there are familiar with the TV Catfish on MTV but basically this guy tells this people that the person that have been dating EXCLUSIVELY online for the last so many years is lying. Honestly, with today’s technology and all the video chat services how the hell have you not had one, especially when you live in different states? But I digress. A friend of mine armed only with the girls name and hometown found her online and it was a clip from a high school newspaper about her playing softball (at least she wasn’t lying there). I prayed that the date on the newsletter would be from at least 4 years ago but no it was from the previous fall. Yup the girl was still in high school. Did I mention that my friend also found her facebook and her profile picture was her senior portrait? Yup I totally got catfished in person. I am not even sure if that is the right thing to call it but that’s what I am going with.

Anyway I confronted her about the lies and of course she denied and denied them and I told her I couldn’t speak to her anymore. Just like that my storybook romance with a girl I met at a bar was over. I guess all those naysayers were right.

UPDATE – I saw the girl again at Downey’s earlier this year. She didn’t approach me or anything and I didn’t talk to her but I couldn’t help but laugh when she walked up to the karaoke mic and sang “What’s my Age Again?” by Blink 182.

 

Standard
10 Dates, Rave

10 Dates in the Past – May 13, 1975 – Game 7 – Flyers vs. Islanders

Adding to my list of dates that I would like to visit in the past:

2. May 13, 1975 – Game 7 – Flyers vs. Islanders

The Broad Street Bullies were terrorizing the NHL on the way to their second Stanley Cup Championship. The Flyers were up 3-0 against the New York Islanders in the best of seven series. Remarkably, the Islanders won the next 3 games to force a game 7 at the Spectrum. Starting in 1969, the music director or whatever he is called of the Spectrum asked if he could play “God Bless America” instead of the National Anthem before the Flyers home games because he felt fans were ignoring the National Anthem. You see, the Vietnam War was raging on and Americans were dissatisfied with the country and he hoped to jolt some patriotism into the building and played Kate Smith’s God Bless America. Well the Flyers won that night and continued to win just about every game the song was played and a good luck charm was born. Kate Smith performed live before the games just a few times in her career and the one I want to see is the one before Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Semi-finals.

In the previous round the Islanders had battled back from down 3-0 and won the series and the Flyers were not about to let that happen again. They flew Kate Smith in and wheeled the organ out as she belted out the song in front of a raucous crowd. I don’t know where I read or heard this but the entire performance lasted just about 10 minutes and many Islanders thought the game was over before it began. The Flyers went on to win the game and then go on to beat Buffalo and capture their second consecutive Stanley cup. I cannot imagine the atmosphere in the building as the organ was wheeled out and she made her grand entrance. I listen to the song now as it is still played before big Flyers game and her voice is remarkable and I want to see her live.

Not to mention I would see the entire cast of the Broad Street Bullies in person. My dad and the entire city of Philadelphia fell in love with hockey watching this rough and tough band of brothers play a foreign sport. When hockey came to Philadelphia in 1967 a parade was held and just about 2 people showed up. Seven years later after the first cup was won, over 2 million people flocked to Broad Street to watch the Bullies on parade. I believe it is still the largest victory parade in the city to this day. As you can probably tell I am a huge Flyers fan and you might be wondering why I didn’t pick a date when they actually won the Stanley Cup and the answer is simple, I want to witness that live for the first time not knowing the outcome. There is nothing like playoff hockey and there is nothing like Kate Smith and the Broad Street Bullies.

Disclaimer: The video is not from the date I want. Apparently that video doesn’t exist on YouTube, more reason I want to see it live.

Standard
Rant

Please Don’t Say That

The English language is a beautiful language and there are so many great ways to say things but there are just a few things that people say to me on an almost daily basis that piss me the fuck off.

Fine – If you use this word to describe anything then you might as well just be lying directly to my face. If something is fine then it isn’t good and it isn’t bad, it isn’t pleasing or it isn’t displeasing, it’s just what people say when there is a story to tell they don’t feel like telling or an argument they don’t feel like having. I am all about being real and honest so save your “fines” for someone else and talk to me when you want to spill or hash it out. Also don’t ever trust a girl who tells you she is fine.

It is what it is – Of course it is what it is. What else would it be? Also it is what it isn’t. This is a useless expression that conveys no meaning. It’s a mark of defeat; it’s a way of saying that you can’t change something. Everything can be changed if you want to put the effort into it.

That’s Funny or That’s Hilarious – If it was really funny why did fuck didn’t you just laugh? These expressions and ones like them are basically what a LOL is in a text message. I’d rather you not laugh at my joke than waste my time and say “that’s funny” in some weak attempt to save my ego.

Long story short – The story isn’t going to be short. If it is a long story you can’t make it short. Sure you can cut out the details but how much are you really going to cut out? Probably enough that will have me asking questions to really understand the story which will then make the story longer than it really needed to be.

There are definitely more things that bother me but happy hour is calling my name. I’ll save them for another post because that’s how I roll.

Standard
10 Dates, Rave

10 Dates in the Past – December 15th, 1975 – Philadelphia – The Spectrum

So I had this idea in my head that I’ve been tossing around and basically it goes if you could pick 10 dates and places to visit in the past, where would you go? I picked 10 because apparently that’s the most popular number that there is when it comes to making lists. So over the next 10 or so days I will write the day, the place and explain why I want to go there. Now I am ignoring the butterfly effect and simply choosing events that I would like to have witnessed firsthand. Also just to keep things grounded; I can only name specific dates and places and not be vague and say that I want to go back and see a dinosaur cause I don’t; shit is scary. Please also be aware that the dates are not ranked in order.

So without further ado:

1. December 15th, 1975 – Philadelphia – The Spectrum

Believe it or not the first concert I ever went to was The Who in 2002. It was a month or so after beloved bassist John “The Ox” Entwistle died and I wasn’t even supposed to go to the concert. My Dad introduced The Who to my neighbor who got tickets to the show only after my Uncle had promised he got a ticket for himself and my dad. Low and behold Uncle P was lying and there were only 3 tickets. I told my Dad repeatedly to go but he made me go instead and I am forever grateful. He turned me from a casual classic rock and music fan into a concert junkie. Even with only two original members the godfathers of punk rock put on an unbelievable show. The show was also memorable because I saw my Uncle get chased by security and smoke a bong with a guy in a wheelchair.

Since that day I’ve been to many concerts and I’ve seen The Who each time they stopped in Philly for a total of five times. Unfortunately I will never get to see all four members together on stage as Entwistle died in 2002 and the drummer Keith Moon left us in 1978. The last time that all four band members played together on stage in Philadelphia was December 15th, 1975 at the Philadelphia Spectrum. Now I’ve seen two shows at the Spectrum and they were amazing and I cannot begin to fathom the energy that was produced on stage that night. Watching videos of the four working together on stage, Moon pounding away on the drums, Roger belting out each line like it was his last, Entwistle quietly but powerfully keeping the band on beat and of course the unmistakable sound and playing style of Townshend on guitar will never compare to seeing the four playing together live.

Standard
Rant

The Dentist

Unlike most people in life I never minded going to the dentist. Maybe it was because I had a root canal at the age of 5, I got a free game of put-put out of it. Maybe it was because I had a tooth pulled when I was like 8 and they gave me nitrous and I got high and felt the chair melt and saw the Power Rangers on the wall fight. Maybe it was because I had braces when I was in 4th grade and asked for them to be black so it looked like my teeth were rotten. Maybe it was because the dentist only deals with your mouth, unlike the doctor who likes to wander. For whatever reason I liked the dentist and still don’t mind going to see him every six months.

I just recently went to the dentist and for the first time in a long time I didn’t like my experience. I didn’t have any crazy procedure done, I didn’t have to endure a huge needle in my gum, and I didn’t have to have my mouth open for a crazy amount of time. I don’t mind those things. Do you know why I didn’t like my experience? The dental hygienist talked to me while she was cleaning my teeth. Seriously? Do you expect me to carry on a conversation? Because at this point your hands are in my mouth, my gums are bleeding and my mouth is dry. I did my best just to muster a “mmhmm” or what I thought would resemblance an affirmative response and acknowledgement that yes I can hear you. Even if I don’t agree with what you are telling me, I can’t carry a conversation so that’s all you are getting. At one point I did in fact try to actually say something and I got in trouble for moving my jaw and head. Seriously? Don’t freaking talk to me then. It’s that simple.

I just want to lay there with my eyes closed and my mouth and listen to you tell me to floss more often than I do. Newsflash: no one flosses as much as they should. It’s a novelty. No one ever makes it a habit. I lied to her and said that I floss but not as often as I should. I can count on my hands the number of times I flossed in my life. I’m not going to start. Isn’t that why I come to you every 6 months? To have my teeth cleaned? I brush em and use mouth wash, sometimes. That’s all I am doing. She kicked my ass though cleaning my teeth. I’ve never had them cleaned that thoroughly. It almost made me want to floss.

I’ve just came to realization on why I’ve never minded going to the dentist; the lack of communication. I hate talking to people I don’t know. I hate small talk. How many times can you talk about the weather? I hate social situations. I haven’t paid for a hair cut in years. It’s not cause of the price; I just don’t want to talk to the person cutting my hair and I especially don’t want to talk to the person washing my hair. I love getting my hair washed by someone else but don’t talk to me while you are doing it. It is so awkward. I can’t hear you. The water is running right in my ear. The seat is uncomfortable. I can’t tell how loud I am talking. IF I am forced to get my hair cut and pay for it, let it go like this: get in, sit down, shut up, cut, roll out. I guess this behavior will also explain why I’ve only been to the doctor as an adult once in my life and the only reason I went was because I was scared I’d lose my left eye. I know I should go get a physical but what’s the point? In the past I justified it by saying I didn’t want to pay a co-pay but now with that new Obamacare everyone is talking about I hear that you get one free routine examination a year. I should test that theory but I am not and trust me it’s not because I am scared of what the doctor would tell me. It’s cause I already have anxiety thinking about things to talk to the doctor and his staff about.

Standard