Tag Archives: Conversation

Rant

Please Don’t Say That…Again

I am back at it again with things you should never say to me when we are engaged in a conversation. The first is when someone tells me to listen. What the hell do you think I have been doing this whole time? I am listening to everything you are saying. Now I might not be actually hearing and paying attention to you but that is a different story. I am definitely listening to you. I am listening for those awkward silences, any key words that catch my attention, and waiting for the time to say yes or another affirmative response and attempt to change the conversation. I am always listening to you. Also when you tell me to listen you are implying that the rest of this conversation meant nothing and now it is time to pay attention. Don’t waste my time with boring stories just to tell me something good. Worst of all is when you are in conversation with someone and they are only in the conversation to ask you a favor. So they go on and on and try to gauge what mood you are in just to finally say listen, can you do this for me? Seriously? Just ask the god damn favor and don’t waste my time.

Similar to listen is “hear me out.” When someone asks me to hear them out, I know from the jump that the conversation isn’t going to end well. You have prematurely decided that what you are about to say is not something that I will agree with and want to ensure I do not immediately jump down your throat. Truth is though that by saying that you have gotten my guns up and I am already countering what you are going to say instead of hearing what you are trying to say. I love arguments and I love a good hash out session, I don’t need you to get me ready for that, I am always ready for it. I’d rather it happen organically then you deciding for me.

As I just mentioned I love to argue. Don’t get me wrong I am not talking about arguments where you scream and yell at each other. I am talking about playful arguments or those that let you get things off your chest and in the end no one hates each other. There is nothing more fun than trying to make someone see your point. With all that being said, don’t ever tell me to agree to disagree. What in the hell is the point of doing that? Like when someone says fine, you are consenting defeat. I don’t want to agree to disagree I want you to just agree with me or I want you to change my mind. What is the fun in agreeing to disagree? When you agree to disagree you are really just saying this is about to get ugly so let’s just drop it; which means we probably shouldn’t have talked about it in the first place.

So now that you have listened and heard me out please let’s just agree to disagree if you disagree with anything in this post.

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Rambling

I Don’t Want to Talk to You but I Have To

Everyone has been in a situation where they have to hold multiple or daily conversations with someone they particularly don’t enjoy. Like you are at work (or class when I was a student) and there is this nice person who always wants to talk to you. They have nothing interesting to say and you couldn’t care less about anything that comes out of their mouth but you have to be polite. I used to dread these situations until I found a way to turn it into a game and make it fun.

If you really don’t like the person and only have to see them on occasion then I suggest you repeat the same story every time you talk to them. Find a way to sway any conversation to the same story and wait and see if they say anything to you. From experience most people don’t say anything at all and either think you are crazy or just know you are an asshole. When I worked at Big Cheese in college they hired this kid who was learning how to drive. He was a really nice kid, kind of dumb and he only made my job harder. So every day I would tell him about how I almost failed my driver’s test but in the end got my license. After a few days I would switch the story up just to see if he would say anything. He never said anything and eventually stopped talking to me.

Now if you do kind of like the person and have to see them just about every day then I suggest that you remember a few of the stories they tell you. Save them somewhere in your memory and be sure to key in on at least one detail. When the person starts to get annoying or you just want out of talking to them begin to tell them the story they told you. The trick is to start the story vague and watch as they start to process what you are saying and just before they realize you are being a jerk hit that key detail hard. If you are really good you can play it off at this point and continue the story vague again at first and then boom another key detail. Perfectly executed, this will always end the conversation and after time people will not believe a word you are saying or even better think everything you tell them is something they told you. This game is even fun to play with people you like. I do it all the time and trust me people love it.

Finally if you really hate the person and don’t want to talk to them pretend like you have to go to the bathroom. If you do this every time you talk to them they will either think you have a small bladder or that you are doing drugs. Either way they won’t talk to you; win-win and that’s how I roll.

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